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War and kids: What to say and not say, and how to handle tough questions

Dr. Meg Meeker, a Minnesota-based pediatrician and author, shared advice for parents and families about discussions to have (or not have) with kids about the war in Israel.

As parents and caregivers across America strive to keep an even keel in their households no matter what is going on in the outside world, many wonder how, if at all, they should talk to their children about the war that's gripped Israel since Oct. 7.

Fox News Digital reached out to Dr. Meg Meeker, a Minnesota-based pediatrician, author and creator of the "Parenting Great Kids," for advice and counsel.

Today, amid the war in Israel, is a time to "keep kids calm," advised the doctor, who is also a mother herself.

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She said that throughout her long career in caring for children, "I've had to talk with kids of all ages — or coach parents — about war or national tragedies."

Here is some of the advice for parents given the unfolding events in the Middle East.

If a child is younger than age 7 or 8, don't say anything about the war in Israel unless the child asks, advised Dr. Meeker. 

"Kids can't process issues that are this complex — and they begin to worry that their mom or dad might die," she said.

If a child is roughly ages 8 to 11, he or she will probably hear about what's going on from the news or at school, "so you may need to have a discussion," Dr. Meeker said.

Her suggestions for the discussion that does take place are direct.

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"Keep the dialogue very simple," said Dr. Meeker. "State who is fighting whom and (very basically) why."

She noted, "Many parents fall into the trap of overspeaking — of giving too much information that kids can't handle or understand. So reassure them that the war will not come here — again, they worry about their lives and their parents' lives more than the lives of others fighting."

Added Dr. Meeker, "Tell them that wars have been fought for many years. If they ask questions, answer the questions but keep it simple. Remember, they can't process complex situations as adults can."

"When kids see war scenes or hear about war repeatedly, they are traumatized," said Dr. Meeker. 

The situation can also be magnified in their minds, she said.

Explain what is happening if the children are old enough to understand (preteen to teen years). 

If they're interested in political details, tell them — but don't force it. 

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"Even though they can understand more than youngsters, they still worry," said Dr. Meeker. 

"So reassure them that now, this is not a war that will affect them. If it does later on, you'll deal with it then," she said.

The reason for this advice? 

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"They will go to school and parrot what their parents say about the president, the administration, Congress, what have you — and this will cause division no matter how old they are," she advised.

Now is the time, she urged, to keep children calm.

Most of all, "reassure them that everything will be OK for them and their families," said Meeker. 

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Anyone seeking more of her advice can visit meekerparenting.com. 

For more Lifestyle articles, visit www.foxnews.com/lifestyle.

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